i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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