The maid of honor just puked.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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