just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
