Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
