Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was born a porn star she said
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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