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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...

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• (858): View more from California

  I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Yep

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That is the exact response I was looking for.

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase

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• (747): View more from California

  That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?

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