you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.