I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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