u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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