we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.