Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy. http://tfl.nu/q0bl
  Replies (8) Good night (2979) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this http://tfl.nu/0jv4
  Replies (30) Good night (5215) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it http://tfl.nu/hlut
  Replies (65) Good night (5184) Bad night (1894)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal http://tfl.nu/nm22
  Replies (64) Good night (1364) Bad night (5883)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
  Replies (55) Good night (1104) Bad night (17182)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon http://tfl.nu/vuj3
  Replies (10) Good night (4612) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry. http://tfl.nu/e7cu
  Replies (9) Good night (7301) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him. http://tfl.nu/k4ub
  Replies (21) Good night (4046) Bad night (1799)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back? http://tfl.nu/dswq
  Replies (12) Good night (804) Bad night (2566)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/0ox8
  Replies (4) Good night (2167) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia. http://tfl.nu/9rne
  Replies (8) Good night (1845) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette http://tfl.nu/vrto
  Replies (1) Good night (1162) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award. http://tfl.nu/a9wc
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets. http://tfl.nu/hrg7
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it http://tfl.nu/qafe
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (235)

Randomize