ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
