She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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