Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
