we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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