In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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