I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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