I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
