I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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