I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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