your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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