the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize