Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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