im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
