So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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