That's intense
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
