I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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