Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
