oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
