omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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