nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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