You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
