It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
