what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
