the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
