Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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