we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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