in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
