One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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