Will you blow on my dice?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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