Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
