and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
