he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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