I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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