i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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