My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
