You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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