Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
