from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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