i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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