My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
