I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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