Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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