Swine flu is the new snow day.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
