I want to make a zoo with you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
