Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
