Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
