Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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