We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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