This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
